Missing limbs

It's such a beautiful day today.

My ex made a very good observation - he said it's strange that I always look up to check if the skies are still there. A bit like Asterix's fellow-villagers, who feared that the sky may fall on their heads at any time.

I guess what I'm fearing is to wake up one day and find that not even a beautiful sky is reason enough to carry on.

The eyes and lips of people on the street and in the metro don't leave much room for hope. Weighted down by gravity and speed, they look like random traces in the sand. Soon all the people will look alike, aged, ageless stick-figures. An up-pointing semi-circle, the mouth. Two crosses, the eyes. A hole in their chest, missing feelings. No worries, they can be easily replaced. Fill it with words or chocolate.

Meanwhile, I got back the feeling in my left ring-finger. It still feels empty from time to time, but it's getting better.

If worse came to worse, the Chat can chew it to the bone.

Third time's the charm

I had this little habit of playing with my ring. I catch myself rubbing my thumb and ring finger - futilely.
My ex-boyfriend really doesn't want to be my boyfriend anymore - he told me so at each of our three break-ups. So it's about time I start believing...

I still check my mail and my phone and even the letterbox. Oh, he did ask for a compass. A real one, broken.

So so tired now.

The Chat would curl up -

 I guess I never wondered if he was really happy. I just assumed such was the case. I'm quite unsatisfied of how things went down. One gives and takes and gives - and when one can take no more, there's a bit of frustration. A feeling of inequity.

That ring finger I was talking about - it deserves an ode, at least. It's as if it went missing, along with a part of myself. I hope it's only habit, I hope it's not forever. Such a shame, if the heart were to shrivel-

- and die.